Gloriana told them about Costa Rican psychologist Cristina Gomar, who created Vasoterapia, a card game made up of ice-breaking questions designed to help start deep conversations. The brothers got in touch with Gomar, and with her support worked to create a Hong Kong edition of the game, Q!
The game is a deck of 52 cards – one side of each card is emblazoned with the words “Everything is going to be OK” and the other side shows a question. The brothers switched out some of the questions from the original game to give it a more Hong Kong flavour, replacing them with ones such as “If Hong Kong was an animal what would it be?” or “What is Hong Kong’s vibe?”
They included local elements in the design, from dim sum and the Hong Kong skyline to a Japanese money cat.
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There are no complex rules to learn, just one Golden Rule – “zero judgment and lots of empathy”.
“Whatever you answer I’m not allowed to judge, and whatever I answer you are not allowed to judge. We have empathy for others and care for the person you are playing with,” says Gabriel.
That sounds like a pretty good approach to treating people generally, and a note that comes with the pack encourages players to follow up on the game by reflecting on what they’ve learned, listening more and talking less, and practising empathy in day-to-day life.
Over the past 18 months, the coronavirus pandemic has seriously curtailed social events, and work from home and home schooling has stunted many people’s ability to socialise. The brothers hope the cards will serve as icebreakers to help renew and deepen existing connections and help make new ones.“A lot of times families are closed off to emotions. I have many friends who, before the game, we were less open about our feelings but now, through the game, we have been enlightened by it, it has been fantastic,” says Alex, who says that the game has brought him closer to his brother.
The boys’ father says he has also learned things about his sons through the game. “As a parent, most of the conversations I have with them are about parenting, it never comes down to questions about life. With this game, it opens up the conversation, gives us more things to think about, I’ve got to know them better,” says Jacobo Wigisser.
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“If you play this game properly, four people can take a couple of hours to respond to three questions,” says Alex.
They began working on the idea at the end of May, and by the beginning of August had the first delivery of cards, which they have been giving out free of charge. The second batch of cards was printed in China, and they received requests from teachers wanting to use the cards.
“The first day of term is always a bit awkward, and more so this year because we did so much online schooling last year. This game helped to break the ice,” says Gabriel.
Ovolo Hotels has been using Q! with quarantine guests, sending packs to guests they think may need a little uplift and also using the game in its weekly Zoom catch-ups.
“The questions on the cards allow people to think a little deeper and say things they wouldn’t normally say in a conversation. You can reveal as much or as little as you like,” says Damian Flynn, the general manager of Ovolo Southside in Wong Chuk Hang.
He says the lockdown has seen a resurgence of interest in games, and Q! in particular helps people connect with others and share their experiences. Taking time off social media to connect with real people has proven popular at Ovolo, and about 40 guests tune in for the weekly quarantine socials.
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“Guests like it so much they have set up their own meets every other day. I think the game has played a part in helping them get to know each other and we’ve heard that there have been some post-quarantine catch-ups,” says Flynn.
Currently, the game is available by emailing [email protected] and requesting a pack. The brothers are hoping to team up with a local school to translate it and put out a Chinese edition. They hope to be able to make it available through bookstores and raise money for a mental health charity.“These kids are quite ingenious with what they’ve done, and our team love it,” says Flynn.
Q! A Game for Bonding
Eight questions to try out from the game:
Tell me about your five favourite people.
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
What is your biggest fear?
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What do you wish you knew when you were 15 years old?
When you are having a bad day, what do you do to feel better?
What makes Hong Kong different from other cities?
When and why was the last time you cried?
What would you miss most about Hong Kong if you were to leave?
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